People also think I am am a super-networker and I do know a lot of people and have some relationships that go back to my days at as an intern at a bank while in college. But I have also lost many contacts along the way. I don’t believe the saying, “Don’t burn any bridges.” I think sometimes people and jobs are best left in the dust.
We all lose contacts, for a lot of reasons. For most people, I suspect it's because we don’t have the time to just call a person or two a day "to say hello" and keep the connection warm. We keep in touch with the people we need to talk to in order to get our work done, and run into others at association or chamber of commerce meetings.
Some people we want to lose contact with, of course. There are clients who take up way too much time and then complain about their bills, or people who ask you for referrals but never seem to know anyone they're "comfortable" introducing you to. There are people who you just don't want to do business with - because like it or not, we do run into the ethically challenged from time to time. Or the people - sometimes former bosses, sometimes former colleagues - who just haven't treated you well.
In that sense, I agree that some contacts are best left behind. But otherwise, I don't think we should be complacent. Networking is one of the most important things you can do in the course of your career - maintaining relationships can help you answer some arcane tax question or show a too-good-to-be-true job opportunity in a realistic light. Our lack of time may keep us from staying in touch as well as we should, but that doesn't mean we can't try.
Easy to say, right? OK, how about this: One cup of coffee a week. Can you have coffee with someone in your address book once a week, whether you "need" to see them or not? If you can, you'll have 52 conversations a year you otherwise may not have had - and who knows where that will lead.
Decaf works too.
1 comment:
Thanks, Mark, for continuing to meditate and ruminate on my interview. I was feelng especially contemplative when I was asked to do that interview. I've just had a big birthday. It's not as bad as it sounds, but it made me think about how I've spent the last umpteen years in the working world.
I was also feeling pretty good about myself, since I had recently referred two people to a very neat project. One had worked for me at JWI and she is now a friend, too. The other is a friend I met through "networking". I told him that when he was referred to me, (I couldn't remember who had referred him anymore...)I had asked him to lunch instead of just coffee because of his experience working and living in Mexico. Four years later, he has worked for me in Mexico and now works with me at a mutual client. I hope we will have an opportunity to work together again in Mexico soon.
I have had all the experiences you mentioned in your post in terms of people I would rather leave in my dust. I have also lost touch, through negligence or laziness, with people I used to talk to and enjoy every day.
Regardless of your personality, you can improve you "networking" skills if you don't take yourself or the process too seriously. It's all about enriching your life, personally and professionally. Hopefully, the two objectives are not too distinct. Why avoid anything that could make your life richer?
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